Foundation Day

Today is the anniversary of the Sisters of Divine Providence arriving in Kentucky, August 23, 1889 . At the motherhouse in France there had been discernment for some months about who would come. Forty sisters volunteered. Four were chosen, in the end three came. They left France by boat for the long journey to New York.

Probably because of our spirituality which is definitely colored by trust in God's tender care, they were told by their superiors, "We will get you to New York. From there make your way to Kentucky." Perhaps, they were not aware of the distance or of travel in the States compared to travel in Europe. The bishop of Covington had arranged to accept the sisters and had sisters of St. Francis of the Poor meet them in New York and help them get to Covington, Kentucky--their destination. As they crossed the bridge from Cincinnati, Ohio to Covington, Kentucky on August 23 the angelus was ringing from a church tower in Covington. When they arrived the Sisters of St. Francis of the Poor gave them a home until the bishop arranged for them to purchase what was known as the "Jones Mansion" in Newport, Kentucky.

They arrived there by horse drawn carriage. The house was atop a large hill which the horses refused to climb. One of the sisters got out and blessed the ground with holy water at which the horses began to gallop up the hill. Thus, began the first convent, Mount Saint Martin, where the sisters lived and flourished.

What a happy feast for all of us Sisters of Divine Providence.

The feast of the Assumption of Mary.
What hope for us, for our life with God. This feast reminds me that my body will share the joy of heaven. This morning in his homily our chaplain suggested that we pray the litany of Mary and take a few minutes with each of the lines. Mary, hope of Christians; Ark of the Covenant, Refuge of Sinners, Comforter of the Afflicted. I am trying to think of them and find one that speaks to me today. Maybe, Virgin, Most Faithful. Some days all I can do is try to be faithful. I often want success and forget that only fidelity is within my control and only fidelity is required of me.

I am so far behind in my work and anxious about getting caught up. I must remind myself today that I can only keep trucking with fidelity and let the rest to God.

Jet Lag
I just returned from about a month in France where I was a delegate to our general chapter. We elected a new superior general and also discussed the future orientations for the whole congregation. It was a challenging time because of some struggles with language and culture. There were sisters from France, Madagascar and the U.S. as well as sisters who have been missionaries for many years in Ecuador and Mali. There were also sisters from Poland.

Mostly I was amazed at the way in which our spirit of abandoning ourselves to God's Providence is so alive in so many places. There is a definite movement among us back to the zeal of our beginnings and a great desire to be among the most excluded of God's people.

What an uplift.

Come Holy Spirit

In preparing for Pentecost I always find myself storming heaven with the request that the Holy Spirit be poured abundantly into my heart and into the hearts of all those God is calling to consecrate their lives to him as Sisters of Divine Providence. Sometimes I feel the warmth of the spirit in my heart as I pray. The thought of receiving the very spirit of God and having that spirit be the source of my life is overwhelming. I am praying for all who read this blog. Come Holy Spirit.

Show us the Father



I am very much like the disciples in today's gospel. I keep asking to see more clearly. "Show us the Father." And I don't always get the answer Jesus gives. "If you have seen me, you have seen the Father." And then I want to know where I have seen Jesus. It is hard to accept what I know is the answer--in all those I meet and in every circumstance of my life. At this point that is consoling but also disappointing. I am grateful that the opportunities to see and respond to Jesus are so near and so abundant. But I am disappointed that they are so ordinary and still not as clear as I would like. This is part of the struggle of discernment. Figuring out just what is being revealed in all those ordinary events of life.



I conclude that it will take much practice over a long time for me to begin to have clarity about what others are calling me to and what others are revealing about the path God has for me. It will take many moments of prayerful reflection on the events of my day and my history before I have even a modicum of clarity. Patience and fidelity are part of the discernment process and also being able to accept some fogginess. It will still take trust to respond. I would like the kind of clarity that leave no room for risk.

God in My History

The section of Acts of the Apostles which we read today, includes a history of the people of Isreal with the intent of seeing God acting in it and preparing for the coming of Christ. We could probably do a review of our personal history in the same way--with a view to seeing how God has been providing for us and preparing us for this moment from the very beginning. This would be a good exercise for discernment--a survey of all the moments of my life, in the presence of Christ. How has God been acting and where is God calling me now in view of what has been going on in my life?

Light

John's gospel asks us to consider whether we are light or darkness in the world, whether we move toward and move others toward faith or toward rejection of the gospel message. Jesus is the light of the world. How can I reflect that light today?

Sheep

The shepherd knows the name of each of his sheep and the sheep know the voice of the shepherd. Works out very neatly. This moving gospel story appeals to me. It sets up such a fine and effective relationship--like the depth of love that contributes so completely to the wellbeing of each of those involved.

Don't we all long to have someone know us and love us for who we are--as the theme song from "Cheers" imples? It captured something so true. And here we are with a gospel story that says there is someone who knows our name--knows us to the depth of our being--and loves us so much that we can hear the care he has when he speaks our name. If we could only trust him, as sheep trust the one who faithfully feeds them. All day I have been relishing the thought that I am loved and cared for by this good shepherd. And all day I have been wishing I could clearly hear that voice calling me and that I would have the courage to respond with complete love and selflessness.

Two things essential for discernment are knowing that we are loved and trusting the one who calls. Without those we would be too fearful to listen and to respond. Prayer will help us grow in both these essentials.

Still Asking for a Sign

Now I can really identify with the people who are speaking with Jesus in the gospel. He told them in yesterday's gospel that they seek him not because they saw the sign but because they ate the bread and were filled.

If they saw Jesus multiply the loaves what sign did they not see? Yesterday, I reflected on the signs I ask for when I want to be assured of God's love for me or that I am on the right path. Today, I am aware of how much I do not see and how much I continue to ask for the same sign over and over. The people who saw Jesus mulitply the loaves and who ate their fill, now ask Jesus again for a sign. The sign they ask for is one like the one Moses did in the desert when they had bread miraculously and ate their fill. Isn't that the sign they just saw? How come they don't see it?

I keep asking to be fed in various ways. I am like this crowd of people. Jesus tells them that he is the bread. That doesn't seem to be enough for them or for me. Jesus says that if they accept him and eat this bread they will never be hungry again. Now that would be a sign--never to hunger again. I claim to believe in Jesus, I receive Jesus in the Eucharist. But I am always hungering for more evidence that I am loved. Obviously I do not really see the sign.

Today, I want to be aware of all the hungers that haunt me and keep me from seeing that Jesus is present in my life and that there is no need to long for any other sign.

Signs
Jesus told the people who found him after he multiplied the loaves and fed them that they sought him not because they saw the sign but because they ate and were filled. I have been thinking about what it means to see the sign. They saw him multiply the loaves. They knew that they were fed. What else were they supposed to see? What am I supposed to be seeing?

I do seek signs all the time. I want to have confirmation of the fact that God loves me and that I am on the right path and that the choice I am considering at any moment is the right one. But I think what I am looking for is seeing multiplications and being filled. A good reflection for the day might be to ponder whether, without the bread and the being filled, I can know that God is present and that the power of God's love and fidelity fills the earth. Can I have faith and trust in the midst of what seems arid?

Of this I am sure--God provides the sign. What is lacking is the faith that sees the sign without the kind of rewards I often seek.

On the Road



Two disceples are on the way to Emmaus and Jesus joins them. They are so disappointed about the happenings of the last days--Jesus' death, the empty tomb, etc.--that they do not recognize Jesus. Isn't that typical of our lives? We have so many concerns that we forget the scriptures that have spoken to us, the beliefs we have about life, the nurishment we receive from community and so many other things. We do not even recognize the guidance God sends in our everyday journeying.


Today, I asked myself what it would take to open my eyes. Have you ever had your eyes opened to the truth that was always before you? How did it happen?


The other thought I have is around "Were not our hearts burning within us when he spoke to us on the way?" There have indeed been times when the scriptures have spoken to me in a way that truly moved my heart. I think it is important to remember occasionally what those passages (or maybe it is events) were and to go back and recapture the moments.


God provides what we need to come to see and to love.

Two Dried Fish

Two dried fish (and five barley loaves) seem quite small when thousands need to be fed. But look at what can be done with small gifts that are given over to Jesus Christ. My reflections led me to think about discernment and the focus that sometimes happens in the midst of it--a focus on our own inadequacy or the smallness of our gifts. But if we hold back from following our call because we feel unworthy or inadequate, how will the crowds ever be fed?

There is a point in discernment of call when we stop looking at ourselves and look to God, when we generously offer whatever we have and know that God can use our smallness to do great things. We will not be the ones who ultimately produce the fruit alone. Focusing on ourselves at some point becomes self-centeredness and self-importance. It is not our gift that matters so much as God's power to use our gift.

The boy disappears quickly from the story. All eyes are on Jesus. But the boy did give over the fish and loaves. Without them the miracle would not have happened as it did.

Are you ready to give over your gifts and allow God to be you strength as you follow your call?

God's Abundant Gifts

Today's gospel had the phrase "He does not ration the spirit." That stays with me and encourages me. Sometimes I act as though God is stingy, holding back gifts, making demands in exchange. But God is truly not like me or other humans who hold back and expect recompense. Think of it--the fish that Peter and companions caught when they let down the net at Jesus' direction, the left overs when Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes. Abundance is the characteristic of God's love for us--sending his son. And Jesus stays with us always in the Eucharist. Generosity even at a great cost.

Today I want to recognize God's gifts to me in the situations I meet and the people who come into my presence. I will try to see the gifts and be grateful. I also want to become more godlike--giving without expecting reward and without counting the cost.

I think that these attitudes are essential to discernment. It is essential to see how generous God has been and to be aware of the gifts we have received and the gift that we are. It is essential to be grateful and joyous. It is essential to trust that God's generosity will continue to grace us and help us live out our vocation. God will provide abundantly.

Light
Christ is the light of the world, expelling all darkness. Today, I prayed with the gospel and asked Christ to bring light into the dark places of my heart and life. It is a challenge for me to be open enough to even recognize that some of my heart is full of darkness--jealousy, anger, disappointment, etc. Today it will be important to be honest with myself about my motives and movements in order to allow Christ access to the darkness. Christ will be my light.

Fools

It is April Fools day and I am thinking of Paul's letter to the Corinthians. He was chastising those who claimed to be wise and pointing out that what looks like wisdom to the worldly wise is really foolish. What looks foolish to the world is the wisdom of Christ. For crucifixion certainly looks foolish.

So today I am thining about choices and whether at the heart of it all they are wise or foolish. Certainly the choice to follow the call of God to religious life, to consecration of the whole self to God, looks quite foolish. But it is as wise as planting the seed which seems to die so that new life can come forth.

Are you being called to something that looks foolish today?

Mary and the Angel

Mary was visited by an angel which always helps in making a decision, I would think. I have never been visited in a way that is so obvious and maybe it wasn't so clear for Mary either. At any rate, angel or not, Mary said "yes" without knowing all that her "yes" would entail. And that is the heart of discernment--being will to risk following a call without being certain about all the particulars that will follow. Trust that God will provide.

"And then the angel left her." And so it was. Mary faced the life she embarked on with her "yes" without the visible support of that angel. That's the hard part--after the journey is begun to continue trusting and continue being faithful.

Locked Doors

My reflections today were on the locked doors that Jesus bypassed in order to be with the fearful disciples. I want to desire a closer union with God but fear what it may mean. Today, I want Jesus in his Divine Mercy, to enter into the locked doors of my heart and fill me with the knowledge of his love for me. I want Jesus to bypass my locked vision and allow me to see his love and mercy in all the people and events of the day.

Acts of the Apostles

The readings from Acts of the Apostles are wonderful. I am always elated to hear of the power and the healing miracles of the disciples who experienced the Risen Christ present with them. Sometime I ask why we do not still see such wonders, why my faith does not bring the same kind of results. But then the gospel readings have been about the disciples who seem to be looking for Jesus in the wrong places--among the dead, in empty tombs. Maybe I am looking for the signs of Christ, risen and present in the wrond places. Today I will try to alert to the wonders of grace in the people and situations I meet.

Easter Week is a favorite time for me. I love the readings from Acts of the Apostles with all the signs of the power and presence of Christ. I identify with the persons in the gospels too who are sometimes looking for Jesus in the wrong places--among the dead. I must admit that when I read about Peter and the other apostles working miracles, I ask the question of why we are not still able to work such wonders. There are many good things I desire and I want to be able to pray for them to happen and then to see them happen. Today I am trying to let go of the desire to produce what I want and to rest in the presence of the risen savior. I want to let that be enough.

Today is Holy Saturday. Our morning prayer included a reading from "A Woman Wrapped in Silence." It stays with me. The image of Mary walking toward the temple and seeing a solitary cross on a hill. What must have her pain have been! Tramatic events are not easily forgotten. The remembrance of many details often come back into our imagination no matter how hard we try to move on.

The reading continues and speaks of a woman who knows that the cross is the "past" and the future lies ahead. She can continue to believe in the promises in spite of her pain. I am not always able to do that myself.

Today I await the courage to face life with the kind of hope that Mary had and I await as well the new life of Easter which I know lies ahead.