God's Abundant Gifts

Today's gospel had the phrase "He does not ration the spirit." That stays with me and encourages me. Sometimes I act as though God is stingy, holding back gifts, making demands in exchange. But God is truly not like me or other humans who hold back and expect recompense. Think of it--the fish that Peter and companions caught when they let down the net at Jesus' direction, the left overs when Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes. Abundance is the characteristic of God's love for us--sending his son. And Jesus stays with us always in the Eucharist. Generosity even at a great cost.

Today I want to recognize God's gifts to me in the situations I meet and the people who come into my presence. I will try to see the gifts and be grateful. I also want to become more godlike--giving without expecting reward and without counting the cost.

I think that these attitudes are essential to discernment. It is essential to see how generous God has been and to be aware of the gifts we have received and the gift that we are. It is essential to be grateful and joyous. It is essential to trust that God's generosity will continue to grace us and help us live out our vocation. God will provide abundantly.

Light
Christ is the light of the world, expelling all darkness. Today, I prayed with the gospel and asked Christ to bring light into the dark places of my heart and life. It is a challenge for me to be open enough to even recognize that some of my heart is full of darkness--jealousy, anger, disappointment, etc. Today it will be important to be honest with myself about my motives and movements in order to allow Christ access to the darkness. Christ will be my light.

Fools

It is April Fools day and I am thinking of Paul's letter to the Corinthians. He was chastising those who claimed to be wise and pointing out that what looks like wisdom to the worldly wise is really foolish. What looks foolish to the world is the wisdom of Christ. For crucifixion certainly looks foolish.

So today I am thining about choices and whether at the heart of it all they are wise or foolish. Certainly the choice to follow the call of God to religious life, to consecration of the whole self to God, looks quite foolish. But it is as wise as planting the seed which seems to die so that new life can come forth.

Are you being called to something that looks foolish today?

Mary and the Angel

Mary was visited by an angel which always helps in making a decision, I would think. I have never been visited in a way that is so obvious and maybe it wasn't so clear for Mary either. At any rate, angel or not, Mary said "yes" without knowing all that her "yes" would entail. And that is the heart of discernment--being will to risk following a call without being certain about all the particulars that will follow. Trust that God will provide.

"And then the angel left her." And so it was. Mary faced the life she embarked on with her "yes" without the visible support of that angel. That's the hard part--after the journey is begun to continue trusting and continue being faithful.

Locked Doors

My reflections today were on the locked doors that Jesus bypassed in order to be with the fearful disciples. I want to desire a closer union with God but fear what it may mean. Today, I want Jesus in his Divine Mercy, to enter into the locked doors of my heart and fill me with the knowledge of his love for me. I want Jesus to bypass my locked vision and allow me to see his love and mercy in all the people and events of the day.

Acts of the Apostles

The readings from Acts of the Apostles are wonderful. I am always elated to hear of the power and the healing miracles of the disciples who experienced the Risen Christ present with them. Sometime I ask why we do not still see such wonders, why my faith does not bring the same kind of results. But then the gospel readings have been about the disciples who seem to be looking for Jesus in the wrong places--among the dead, in empty tombs. Maybe I am looking for the signs of Christ, risen and present in the wrond places. Today I will try to alert to the wonders of grace in the people and situations I meet.

Easter Week is a favorite time for me. I love the readings from Acts of the Apostles with all the signs of the power and presence of Christ. I identify with the persons in the gospels too who are sometimes looking for Jesus in the wrong places--among the dead. I must admit that when I read about Peter and the other apostles working miracles, I ask the question of why we are not still able to work such wonders. There are many good things I desire and I want to be able to pray for them to happen and then to see them happen. Today I am trying to let go of the desire to produce what I want and to rest in the presence of the risen savior. I want to let that be enough.

Today is Holy Saturday. Our morning prayer included a reading from "A Woman Wrapped in Silence." It stays with me. The image of Mary walking toward the temple and seeing a solitary cross on a hill. What must have her pain have been! Tramatic events are not easily forgotten. The remembrance of many details often come back into our imagination no matter how hard we try to move on.

The reading continues and speaks of a woman who knows that the cross is the "past" and the future lies ahead. She can continue to believe in the promises in spite of her pain. I am not always able to do that myself.

Today I await the courage to face life with the kind of hope that Mary had and I await as well the new life of Easter which I know lies ahead.

Sunday's gospel was about ten lepers who were cured. Only one returned to give thanks. I have thought about this in terms of discernment. What role does gratitude play in discernment? Or maybe the question is, what role does awareness of the gifts I have received play?

We all have many gifts and receive many graces. But I, for one, take little time to reflect on the source of the many blessings in my life. I take things for granted. I am more aware of what I lack and more apt to be asking for help than recognizing what I have received. To look at call and where I am called to be by God, takes some awareness of where I have been and how I have gotten to where I am. The ten were made clean. The direction of all their lives was changed. But for one the direction of his life was changed in more profound ways than merely being able to rejoin the community and lead a normal life. For this one there was a new awareness of where his well-being came from. His heart was turned to gratitude. His outlook become more other centered.

Discernment involves being able to take my focus off of myself and my own inner workings. To listen to God's call, I need to look outside myself and also see what I have as gift. Gratitude is an outward movement that is essential to the process of discernment.

What gifts am I experiencing today for which I can express gratitude?

In today's gospel someone in the crowd says to Jesus, "Blessed is the womb that bore you." Jesus replies that blessing belongs to those who hear the Word of God and keep it. I have been thinking about what this all says about vocation and discernment. The vocation piece is somewhat obvious. Our vocation is to listen to the word of God and obey. Easy to say. But how?

Jesus is the Word of God and the essence of every vocation is in being a disciple of Jesus, obeying God as Jesus did. But how? And what does that mean in the concrete of my daily life? I like to think about my very being as a word that God is speaking. I am a word of God and God is right now speaking me. If Jesus is THE Word of God, then somewhere in Jesus is the limited word that I am. I am in Jesus. There is something about Jesus that I am to reveal in my life, in my actions, in the person I become through my decisions. So the first thing that is important in determining who I am to become as a word of God, is to be attentive daily to the scriptures, to listen and find out what it is about Jesus that is especially attractive, to hear how my being resonates with the life of Jesus. In that I will find my call.

When Jesus says that praise is due to the one who listens to God's word and heeds it, he is saying that the most important thing about Mary is her bringing the Word of God into the world. It is even more important than the physical birth of her child Jesus. And indeed, she listened to the messenger of God and said, "Yes." All of us can look back on our lives and see many accomplishments of which we are proud and worthy of praise. What is essential in our discernment is to see what in those events speaks to us of God. Do we hear a call in those accomplishments? Do they reveal something of God--of the Word of God and of ourselves as a word of God?

Reflecting on our life as containing a message from God is an important part of discernment. Where have I been? What have I been doing? Where is God in all of that? Do I see who am am called to become? How can I best become the word God speaks when God speaks me?

It continues to be very warm and not at all as October weather ought to be. I am trying to find the message in this unusually warm weather. God does speak to us in all that we encounter. What is God saying this October? I still remember a poem from a little book we used in elementary school when I was a child. I think it was the fourth grade book called "Voyages in English." It had a poem about autumn that captured the beauty of the falling leaves and the wonderful colors. So I expect that in October. Cool breezes, a fresh smell, wonderful colors, the sound of the leaves rustling down. I miss it.

Maybe the message is that beauty is to be found in what is given not what is expected. I wonder how often I try to box God in and tell God how things are supposed to be.

The message I am finding today is that God is bigger than my expectations and God's blessings are not necessarily what I think they are. This seems important for discernment. I look for answers from God and think I know how they will come. The answers are in the way the day is. We have to open our eyes.

Who is God?
One of the most important players in the discernment process is God. Of course. But who is God? Is God someone who has an blue print of what I should do, hides it from me and says "aha, you missed finding it so you will not get the reward."? If that is how I image God, I have a very hard time discerning. I know how I feel when a friend decides I should know what she wants when she doesn't tell me. You have probably had the experience of not doing what someone wants when they gave no indication of what they wanted and then had to deal with their anger that you did not do what they wanted. That is not who God is. God is more like the friend who loves you no matter what you do but is honest with you about your strengths and weaknesses. When we see God this way, we can relax while we are discerning. And that is a great benefit to the discernment process.

Called?
Sometimes when we are considering a call we wonder if we are just avoiding something we don't like. Are we trying to escape from something frightening or unpleasant, or are we really moving toward a positive choice? God works in all of the ordinary events and movements of our hearts. There may be some element of moving away from when we move toward religious life. For example, we may want to move away from consumerism or individualism and see religious life as a necessary support for that in our life. The question is are we ONLY running away from something. Life's motivations are always mixed. That is part of being human and God accepts our humanity.

The readings today are pretty powerful in talking about how to pray. Abrahan exhibits boldness, calling God to be faithful to his promise of mercy and justice. Jesus tells us to call God by familiar and tender names. His words also tell us to be persistent. I am sometimes bold but find it more difficult to maintain the sense of God's tender nearness and I definitely do not have the patience to keep asking with persistence. I like quick results.

Today's gospel was about letting the weeds grow with the wheat till the harvest. It set me to thinking about our rush to have answers in the discernment process. Can we be patient enough to relax and believe that God will care for the outcome if we are faithful to the process?

Johannes Baptist Metz in a little book, Poverty of Spirit, talks about the innate poverty of being human. We are never complete. Much as we long to know definitively who we are and where we are going, it is the nature of being human that we are never finished becoming or arriving. I think that has implications for discernment. There is an urge in us to "be there" to be finished and know with certainty the path for the journey. We can know that the end is union with God, but the path is determined day by day in the choices we make. We are not finished and we cannot have the kind of certitude we want. That is what it is to be human. And since Jesus accepted being human, it is a good sign that we should too.

Take a few minutes to breath. That is what I am telling myself today. Life seems rushed.

Discernment--it takes breathing time. Relax into choices. Relax into God's love. Rest there and you will find direction.

Good morning all. It is a beautiful day, though we do need rain. Today is a wonderful feast day for the Sisters of Divine Providence in the U.S. Our provincial house here in Melbourne, Kentucky is St. Anne Convent. Our founder, Jean Martin Moye, had a number of devotions that were dear to him and that he passed on to us. Probably the most prominent was a devotion to the passion of our Lord. Among the Saints he revered were St. Joseph, St. Anne and Mary.

We do celebrate feastdays well. There as no morning Mass today (so an opportunity to sleep in). We will have Mass at 4:30 PM and then a festive dinner together. The sisters who live in the area will all come together. I am looking forward to all of this.

Discernment Opportunities
Sometimes when we are making a major choice or trying to determine how God is calling us to live out our commitment, we can get into a rut in our own minds--going round and round and getting nowhere except back to the place where we started. Sometimes, saying out loud what is going on in our heads and hearts helps us more a step forward. Even better is saying these things aloud to someone else. Feedback helps. What someone else hears us saying can be very insightful.So...If you are going round and round about how God is calling you--to married life, single life or life as a vowed religious, here is a great opportunity.An Evening of Discernment at St. Anne Convent/Moye Spiritual Life Center on September 6, 2007. We will begin at 7 PM and end at 11 PM. Why not join us. Contact Sr. Fidelis Tracy CDP at vocation@cdpkentucky.org

What are your thoughts today about God's will? I like to think about it as very different from our human will which we often associate with willfullness. God's will is huge. It allows for us to make any choice and then in that space where the choice lands us, opens up for us a million more ways for us to find God, see God, love God and come to union with God.

St. Catherine described it as an abyss of love enfolding us in nothing but mercy.

Search for God's will. Do. But remember it is always opening up rather than closing the way for us and is surrounds us with love.

Today is beautiful. The readings for Mass gave pause for thought. The mother of James and John had something she wanted for them and was bold enough to speak up for it. Jesus answers them instead of her so I suppose they put her up to it. Usually when I meditate on that reading I focus on how difficult it must have been for Jesus. He had just told them about how he would suffer and they do not commiserate in anyway but go right on thinking of themselves.

Today, though, I prayed about being bold enough to express my desires to Jesus and to God. There are things I do want and sometimes find it difficult to admit those wants. So this morning I asked God for a lot of things--small and large with confidence that God will give me whatever I need and not the things that would not be helpful for my union with God.

I also spent a little time with the first reading--about being earthen vessels. It is truly okay to be human and have human weaknesses. As the reading so eloquently said, that weakness of ours makes it all the more clear that any glory belongs to God. Jesus shared our humanness so would we reject it by insisting on being infinite and flawless?

For today, I'm going to be okay with my failings and ask for what I need.