Economy
I sometimes wonder what is happening in our lives in terms of the measures we have taken to be able to care for our elderly sisters. It has never been luxury we have aimed for, just the ability to provide for basic needs. Now with the great drop in the stock market and the value of retirement funds, I wonder how we will be able to manage. It is not that I spend time worrying, because I do believe that God provides for our needs in ways that are best for us and I trust that whatever happens God will be with us. However, somewhere deep inside, I am feeling that we should be rewarded or at least protected because we have sacrificed in order to be responsible for our elderly sisters. And there is that lesson I come to over and over again--life is not a series of rewards for good behavior but a series of acts of love and trust without specific expectations.

My other thoughts are around what I meant by my vow of poverty. I didn't think much about the future in terms of money or care in sickness and old age, but I did mean that I was willing to live with whatever was my lot as a sister. I really meant that I would be content with little and not live in luxury. It will take some adjustment in my view of the future as I give myself once again into the hands of our Provident God.

What does this teach me about discernment? That decisions are not made because of the certainty of a specific future, but are made with a deep trust and love for a God who provides.